Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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