When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she told me i tasted like america
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
