how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it because I queefed?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
