considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
