youre lurking in front of me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize