Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
