You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
