my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
