How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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