And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
only you would photoshop your dick
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My dick has a subreddit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
