Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had sex on a roof
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
