What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
