How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You work out of a Hotel?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize