i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
