what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
