I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
