I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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