Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize