I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
