I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
