Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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