I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
