The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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