Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize