I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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