ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
