I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
