I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Randomize
