i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
