Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize