I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
