is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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