Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize