Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
