We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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