she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
