It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
