I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
