Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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