I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
