living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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