; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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