is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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