You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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