you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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