question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
why is half of my head shaved?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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