Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
