6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
