About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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