Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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