dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
