Do you still have your period?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
well you can't waste a boner
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
sarcasm needs its own font
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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