so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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