yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
