u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
