last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
