So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
