Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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