so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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