So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
