She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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