RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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