Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
