If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
