Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can you bring me the toilet please
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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