Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
