i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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