a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
