When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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