Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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