My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
