It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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