I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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