ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
